Twenty in Thailand

Even before I came here, I was looking forward to titling this birthday post. I was so excited to turn twenty in Thailand. But I had no idea that my birthday here would be the most memorable one of my life, or that I would be so overwhelmed with emotion.

I was thrown three birthday parties.

One, which I told you about in my previous post, organized by my beloved Thai friends at my NGO on Friday.

One yesterday at a bar featuring a freakin' awesome live band that even sang me happy birthday. After my friends from the program surprised me with a cake, we danced the night away like a bunch of crazies.

And one with my family and family friends tonight at Pi O's house, complete with grasshopper-eating and gift-opening.

That equals three cakes, three "Happy Birthday" songs, and three wishes. But each of those wishes was the same. I can't tell you what they were of course, but I'm sure you can guess.

I have never felt so much love in my life. Tonight, as I was sitting on the ground chowing down on homemade french-fries and breaded chicken, surrounded by people that I care so much about, smiling and laughing and joking, I looked up at the rain falling against the sunlit palm trees, and my heart absolutely flooded.

How can I leave?

How can I leave?

The long lovely day

Friday the 13th was a good, good day. Duh, because 13 is my lucky number!

In the morning, our neighbor, Ahm rode with us because sometimes he likes to go fishing with Bua. He's really quiet and I don't think I've ever heard one word of English come out of his mouth. But as we were driving, a dragonfly flew in and couldn't get out. Ahm tried to put it out the window, but the seat belt was in the way, so he handed it to me and I put it out my side. Precious moment.

I got to work early and helped Olay out with saa-paper hole-punching for awhile. When I walked in she handed me a gift wrapped in green paper and tied with a pink ribbon. I said thank you and set it aside to open later.

To take a break from hole-punching, I went outside and watched Bua and Ahm try to spear fish with a cool cross-bow contraption. Ahm shot one right through the face, and when he pulled it out, Bua smiled and sang "Happy birthday to Jen!"

All morning Ahmpaa was busy in the kitchen making the food she knows Mer and I love so much, lettuce wraps! Once the Aussies and Pam showed up, we all sat in a big circle and munched. After lunch, Bua, Prawit and Ahm came in and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" as the cake was brought out. Meredith and I blew out the candles together, and then I cut it into 16 little pieces to share with everyone.

After cake people expressed happy birthday sentiments--they wished us luck in our future as well as health and happiness. I opened Olay's gift and was delighted to find a beautiful set of wooden tableware.

The rest of the day was spent punching more holes and talking with our Australian friends. After they left, I hung out with the Thais until John picked me up to teach at his place.

The birthday gang.

Bua trying to sing the fish to him.

The kids knew it was my birthday, so the older ones came in and were whispering to each other and then they all yelled, "Happy birthday to you!!" and Paul gave me a WWJD bracelet.
They were very involved today and were excited to learn--especially when I taught them "Hello, how are you?" and "I am fine, thank you." It's so cute when they say thank you, because it's more like theek yew. 


At the end of the night they wanted to ride back to the church with me, so we all hopped in the back of the truck and jammed out to Flo Rida. At the church, the Friday prayer group was still kickin, so I listened until they were finished and then my parents and Ahm and I rode to the hospital to visit Ahm's grandmother. By this point it was about 9pm, and I was exhausted. On the way home I kind of fell asleep on Ahm--ish. I wasn't actually touching him but I was definitely on his side of the bench. I think it freaked him out a little, because when we pulled into the driveway he was out of there like a rocket. It was pretty funny.

Best birthday I've ever had, and it wasn't even my birthday.

Bai Pai mai?

The experience of working with my NGO as a whole has been absolutely magnificent, but I find true joy in the small moments.

Today when I picked up a guitar and started strumming, Ahmpaa said, "Ring, ring!" I was confused for just a second before I remembered our conversation the other day about ring and sing. 

"You mean sing?"

"Oh. Sing, sing!"

Nute asking whether I wanted the black man or the white man that we met in Pai yesterday. She said the black one was probably smarter because he looks like a Thai.

Listening to Olay as she laid out the party plans for tomorrow. Small cake. Candles. Sing a song--Happy Birthday!

Being around them every day has softened me, I think, but it has also hardened me in a way. I have so much fun with them and I feel so well taken care of. I don't want to go back to America and be surrounded by people who have so much but care so little, after I've seen what life looks like here.

Yesterday we all took a day-trip via rot tu to the Lisu Village in Thailand's Pai province. 

We left at 5:00 in the morning and then drove three hours along a windy, bumpy, mountainous road. At the Lisu village, our new Australian friends who operate this NGO bought some of the village products and then we ate lunch and took a tour of the church being built and the day care center.

On the way home we stopped at a couple sight-seeing places and then made the long drive home. That was the really watered-down version, but it was a fun trip. It was good to spend time with Olay, Joe, Nute and Ahmpaa outside of our everyday work context. I love them

We have nothing to do with those hand-prints or that date. But whatev.

I've been sad lately, since I only have about three weeks left here. I want to stay forever, and that is not an exaggeration or a joke. But it's unlikely that I'll be back to Thailand in the near future, and because a number of the people that I work with have AIDS, the possibility of reuniting with them again at all is slim.

They have so much to complain about, but they don't. They have so many reasons to be selfish, but they aren't. They are the most kind, diligent, hard-working, happy people I have ever met and it breaks my heart to think about leaving them. 

The other day Olay was talking about how much they would miss us. She said (keep in mind this is a translation) that they would miss us a lot, but we wouldn't miss them. I quickly corrected her and said, "Mai chai! Kit teung kun maak!" I wish there was a better way to express to them how much they've changed my life. I still want to kick our communication barrier in the face, but what really gets to me is the fact that in three weeks, all I will be to them is a memory.

A love like Laos

This past Tuesday we took off for Thailand's neighboring country, Laos, to renew our visas and whatnot.

It began with a 6-hour bus ride that paused at a hauntingly beautiful temple in Chiang Rai and ended in a cute little guesthouse in Chiang Kong. The next morning we took a boat across the Mekong river and stepped off onto Laos soil! We waited for awhile for our visas, did some more driving, and then hopped onto the boat that would take us to Pak Beng. The boat-ride was absolutely beautiful, and it was extra enjoyable because we were the only ones on it!

We docked for the night at the teensy little town of Pak Beng, and after settling in at our hotel, Keara, Eden, Erin and I went exploring. We walked for quite awhile down Pak Beng's one road. Once we got of the touristy area we ran into some really cool locals and some adorable Lao children. 

Obviously, none of us spoke Lao and none of them spoke English or Thai, so we just stared at each other and smiled for a good five minutes. Finally we waved goodbye and kept walking, but since there is only one road in Pak Beng, eventually we had to turn around and so we inevitably passed them again. This time Keara gave each of the kids her sunglasses to try on, and they got a real kick out of that. When we tried to leave again, they kept following us, so we took their hands and continued on our way. Erin has that picture, so I'll post it for you when I can.

Later that night we (Me, Erin, Eden, Keara, and our new friend from Mexico, Marcella) decided to crash the town's only bar, The Hive. They gave each of us a free shot, but Marcella was the only one who drank and there was no way she could do five shots, so Erin and I went back to the hotel to get the rest of the crew so that Amanda could drink the rest. And also because we love them. 

It was a fun night. We got to choose the music, so we were totally dancing it up. By ourselves. But whatev. We were rockin. 

Thursday morning we got back on the boat and headed back up (or maybe down?) the Mekong all day long until we reached our final destination, Luang Prabang. To pass the time we debated whether or not giraffes and cows can swim and other important topics. 

In Luang Prabang we put our stuff in our rooms and then headed out to hike up a mountain to catch the sunset. Laos is unique because it was colonized by the French, so there was a lot of French-influenced architecture and food. I loved the cobblestone sidewalks and the baguettes. 

Halfway up the mountain, five of us decided that it was not worth the energy/80 baht, so we walked back down and went to eat at a little restaurant called The Coconut instead. I got a fabulous baguette sandwich and we had a lot of fun talking and laughing. We also got a kick out of the Lao waiters just standing around and smiling at us as we ate. 

The rest of the trip included excursions to two awesome waterfalls (one of which involved a rope swing), a jammed/bruised finger, and a couple toilet fiascoes. There was also night-market browsing, early morning monk-feeding, baguette-eating, bar-chilling, bear-watching, elephant-petting, and joke-making. It was a great little getaway and I totally want to go back some day.

Just another week

Meet Deem.

We call him Sam. He was born about five weeks ago, though he was three weeks premature and weighed only 1.8 kilograms (4 pounds) at birth.

Both of his parents are HIV positive. His status is still unknown. The little family lives in a small shack composed of wood and tin nailed together. It doesn't even have a proper door. For the first few weeks of his life, he lived there with his parents but he was still in-and-out of the hospital and the neighbors were concerned for his life because he wasn't being properly cared for. His mother is just too weak and sick and without have the knowledge or the energy required to take care of a newborn. But at least she was trying. However, this past Sunday night Sam's father came home in a drunken rage, telling his wife that Sam wasn't his son and making her condition even worse, so on Monday morning, our friend Pam took the baby to her house where Meredith and I helped look after him for a couple days while his fate was being decided.

Me and little Sam

Don't be fooled; he's a boy!

On Wednesday a lady from England that runs a foster-care system (ish) out of her house took him and I guess she will take care of him until a more permanent situation can be arranged. I'll miss the little guy. I hope he can overcome the unfortunate circumstances he was born into and grow up to live a full, happy life.

Friday night I was supposed to teach English at the children's home, but things fell through with the kids' school schedule and so I had to stick around the center because my host family participates in a Christian prayer group there on Friday nights with some other members of their church. I was kind of bummed about not being able to teach the kids, so I had a semi-negative attitude toward sitting through a "prayer group meeting"--whatever that meant-- all night, but it ended up being a great experience.

We all sat in a circle (I made Ning (Yai's daughter) sit next to me so she could translate) and Bua played the guitar as the group belted out a few Thai hymns. And when I say belted I mean belted. They aren't quiet about their hymn-singing in the least. Check out this video I took. I love it.

After singing Bua asked if anyone wanted to share an experience they'd had with God that week. Ning didn't translate the experiences that were shared, but afterward everyone had the opportunity to ask the group to pray for something or somebody in their lives. Meredith's stomach aches, Bua's brother, somebody's aunt, somebody else's finances. Everyone chanted their prayer out loud, in Thai of course. It was beautiful. It was even spiritual. I could feel how much God loved and cared for these people.

Then we did some bible study, some more singing, and some more praying, and the whole time I was thinking how glad I was to be able to participate. These people have amazing dedication to God and an impressive knowledge of the Bible. And they care so much about each other. The whole thing was fascinating to me. Missing out on English teaching just may have been a blessing in disguise.

Nothing so beautiful

Tonight I took a bike ride around the village by myself, because I've only recently come to appreciate its real true beauty.

My mind was blown.

All I did was take a left turn where I normally take a right, but suddenly it felt like I was in some whimsical indie film. I was literally surrounded by miles and miles of lime green rice paddies punctuated by pools of still water reflecting the sunset. My entire conscious was expanded in the matter of an hour.

There was one stretch of road where the flat green fields were interrupted by a grove of dark looming trees with spindly vines hanging from them. It got darker and quieter all of a sudden, but still I could hear the vibration of insects and the call of birds. I was in complete awe; but it was when a big black butterfly flitted in front of my bike that I was sure that the left turn I'd taken was really the secret entrance to Alice in Wonderland. I had to pedal back and ride through it again, it was that cool.

In other news, this week I've spent my time helping to take care of a premature newborn (more on that later), motorcycling with Noi to Bo Sang for some umbrella village action and then bicycling with Noi to Doi Saket for some chillaxation at a coffee shop and then getting a stellar massage with Noi at a place on the side of the road, making beads out of paper, teaching the kids about the days of the week and months of the year and in general just falling even more in love with Thailand every day.

Thailand

Smells like
campfire and jasmine
car exhaust and laundry soap
like searing meat and rainstorms
eucalyptus and rotting vegetation
It smells like a breeze wafting over an open field
and stale lemon water

Tastes like
overripe mangoes and pineapples and bananas
like ice cream and waffles and warm water
fruit mentos and lemon oreos
ovaltine and coconut yogurt
It tastes like fried chicken and sticky rice, but also
bamboo shoots and curry and fish oil


Looks like
God's country
glittering temples and gray storm clouds

it has something to hide
like a scene from a movie
second-hand clothes and a thousand smiles
It looks like questionable meat and a sea of dark hair
and blue and orange sunsets behind acres of green


Sounds like
bad English
genuine laughter and quiet singing
the whir of a fan and the rumble of a motorcycle
It sounds like Thai television drama
and birds and bugs and barking dogs
like the same three cell-phone ring tones, over and over,
drums in the distance, persistent vendors and rain hitting the ground


Feels like
an eternal sauna
a dream and a promise
greasy lips, a stinging tongue and itchy skin
like a conversation with myself,
and an accident waiting to happen
loose clothes, no make-up and a pony-tail
the wind on my face and the sun at my back
It feels like home